Thursday, September 30

On the point of relationships.

What’s the point of relationships? If the initial high is temporary and then you stick together until you hate each other so much that you cheat or break up, then what’s the point? Is there ever a time when people find someone they really love?

The human condition is a fun ride, but don’t ever forget that we’re all just a bunch of talking meat wrapped around a sack of warm shit programmed to eat, sleep, and fuck.

We’re social animals with a biological imperative to reproduce. That’s it. That’s all. Love is a neurochemical response with a shelf life long enough to perpetuate the species.

And hey, I don’t wanna hear you complaining about it either, because quite frankly, you’re one lucky motherfucker to have air in your lungs and the opportunity to be confused by it at all.

The last breath you just took is one more than a hundred billion human beings who came before you will ever get to take again, and one day, the last breath you just took will be the last breath you’ll ever take.

That day is the point of relationships, that day when you cease to fucking exist, because it’s guaranteed, my friend. This shit all ends, so cram as much love, joy, and shout-it-from-the-rooftops happiness as you possibly can into whatever time you can make for yourself.

Meet as many interesting people as you can. Make as many friends as you can. Fall in love as many times as you can. Fuck if it hurts sometimes. You’re one of the lucky ones who’s still breathing.

All we have in this world is relationships with other people. At this stage in our evolution, nothing else matters.
—  Dear Coke Talk

Wednesday, September 29

I said I was done and I really was... just wasn't appealing anymore. Because shit gets old, you knowwwwwwwwwwww. But

Sudden craving.
Anyone downnnnnnnn

Monday, September 27

Lately,

I've been getting annoyed so easily. Mad so easily. Sad so easily.... I think that so far I've been doing a pretty good job of not letting it show but these days I've been starting to slip. I don't know what to do. Most people would tell me to just let it out to someone but if you really knew me, you'd know I hate talking about things like that. For some reason, it's really hard for me to put my feelings into words, probably partly because I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling. Is it pain? Is it sorrow? Is it anger? SO MANY QUESTIONS!! -_- I don't wanna deal with any of that LOL To be completely honest, what good would it even do? They can't change my circumstance. They can't get me out of my situation. I guess simply listening has its merits but I've come to a point where I'm not going to be content any longer with some emotional outlet... I don't want just a listening ear anymore. I want a cure. I want it to stop. I know what I'm asking for is impossible. So if you don't have what I want to offer, it's competely fine. I've managed to survive this far and I'm confident I can keep going. But I'm not going to lie. Things haven't been getting better. I think it's slowly starting to get to me.................. even though I'm trying really hard not to let it. There's only so much I can take, haha. It really is getting harder and harder for my every day to go out in public and Be Fine. I'd like to keep having hope. I'd like to be able to move forward without being phased.  But what I'd like and what's happening are two very different things.



.................
Why?

Sunday, September 26

....

Day 4: Seven fears/phobias 
1. BIRDS omfg
2. Losing certain people in my life
3. College
4. My job in the future
5. The future in general
6. The world ending while I'm alive.. LOL
7. Failing

Friday, September 24

Zero

Day 3: Eight things that annoy you
1. Mean people...
2. When plans don't work out :(
3. My phone running out of batteries in the middle of the day
4. Being pitied
5. Spilling my water every fucken day
6. Obnoxiously loud people
7. My clumsiness sigh
8. Going shopping and not finding anything..

Today

Happy late birthday Erica heheheh I know you're not gonna read this but I'm gonna give you your card monday K!!HAHAHA shitt............. I officially fucking hate german torture. I never experienced this much pain from so little cards. Jungsoo seriously broke my hand. LOL there's this big hard boney lump and it hurts everytime I try stretching out my hand... Should I go to the doctors???????? But I don't want to tell my mom.. She's gonna trip tfo hAHA. Dress shopping tomorrow!