Thursday, September 30

On the point of relationships.

What’s the point of relationships? If the initial high is temporary and then you stick together until you hate each other so much that you cheat or break up, then what’s the point? Is there ever a time when people find someone they really love?

The human condition is a fun ride, but don’t ever forget that we’re all just a bunch of talking meat wrapped around a sack of warm shit programmed to eat, sleep, and fuck.

We’re social animals with a biological imperative to reproduce. That’s it. That’s all. Love is a neurochemical response with a shelf life long enough to perpetuate the species.

And hey, I don’t wanna hear you complaining about it either, because quite frankly, you’re one lucky motherfucker to have air in your lungs and the opportunity to be confused by it at all.

The last breath you just took is one more than a hundred billion human beings who came before you will ever get to take again, and one day, the last breath you just took will be the last breath you’ll ever take.

That day is the point of relationships, that day when you cease to fucking exist, because it’s guaranteed, my friend. This shit all ends, so cram as much love, joy, and shout-it-from-the-rooftops happiness as you possibly can into whatever time you can make for yourself.

Meet as many interesting people as you can. Make as many friends as you can. Fall in love as many times as you can. Fuck if it hurts sometimes. You’re one of the lucky ones who’s still breathing.

All we have in this world is relationships with other people. At this stage in our evolution, nothing else matters.
—  Dear Coke Talk

Wednesday, September 29

I said I was done and I really was... just wasn't appealing anymore. Because shit gets old, you knowwwwwwwwwwww. But

Sudden craving.
Anyone downnnnnnnn

Monday, September 27

Lately,

I've been getting annoyed so easily. Mad so easily. Sad so easily.... I think that so far I've been doing a pretty good job of not letting it show but these days I've been starting to slip. I don't know what to do. Most people would tell me to just let it out to someone but if you really knew me, you'd know I hate talking about things like that. For some reason, it's really hard for me to put my feelings into words, probably partly because I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling. Is it pain? Is it sorrow? Is it anger? SO MANY QUESTIONS!! -_- I don't wanna deal with any of that LOL To be completely honest, what good would it even do? They can't change my circumstance. They can't get me out of my situation. I guess simply listening has its merits but I've come to a point where I'm not going to be content any longer with some emotional outlet... I don't want just a listening ear anymore. I want a cure. I want it to stop. I know what I'm asking for is impossible. So if you don't have what I want to offer, it's competely fine. I've managed to survive this far and I'm confident I can keep going. But I'm not going to lie. Things haven't been getting better. I think it's slowly starting to get to me.................. even though I'm trying really hard not to let it. There's only so much I can take, haha. It really is getting harder and harder for my every day to go out in public and Be Fine. I'd like to keep having hope. I'd like to be able to move forward without being phased.  But what I'd like and what's happening are two very different things.



.................
Why?

Sunday, September 26

....

Day 4: Seven fears/phobias 
1. BIRDS omfg
2. Losing certain people in my life
3. College
4. My job in the future
5. The future in general
6. The world ending while I'm alive.. LOL
7. Failing

Friday, September 24

Zero

Day 3: Eight things that annoy you
1. Mean people...
2. When plans don't work out :(
3. My phone running out of batteries in the middle of the day
4. Being pitied
5. Spilling my water every fucken day
6. Obnoxiously loud people
7. My clumsiness sigh
8. Going shopping and not finding anything..

Today

Happy late birthday Erica heheheh I know you're not gonna read this but I'm gonna give you your card monday K!!HAHAHA shitt............. I officially fucking hate german torture. I never experienced this much pain from so little cards. Jungsoo seriously broke my hand. LOL there's this big hard boney lump and it hurts everytime I try stretching out my hand... Should I go to the doctors???????? But I don't want to tell my mom.. She's gonna trip tfo hAHA. Dress shopping tomorrow!

Thursday, September 23

Perfunctory

Day 2: Nine things you do everyday
1. brush my teeth, use toilet, etc;
2. phoneee (text, just looking at it, idk) haahaha
3. school ...
4. eat at least 1 of the the little hot cheetos bags. yay for 50 pack @ costco.. HahAHA omg
5. shower!!
6. computer.. watch my shows, fb +
7. laugh heheheh
8. groan at the sight of my messy room LOL:(
9. think about stuff..-_-

Wednesday, September 22

THERE HASN'T BEEN A SINGLE DAY IN THE PAST MONTH WHERE I DIDN'T KNOCK MY CUP FULL OF WATER OVER.

There's always this..

 Day 1: Ten random facts about yourself
1. I text back fasstttttt ^_^
2. Religiously watch my shows online hehehehehe
3. I love lovelovelovel ove love sleep
4. I like to read
5. Hot cheetos!!!!
6. I have slow reflexes............
7. Chocolate covered pretezels omg
8. I'm the most indecisive person you will ever meet:(
9. I luv my bb
10. Rather regret what I've done than what I haven't done

Next

Day 1: Ten random facts about yourself
Day 2: Nine things you do everyday
Day 3: Eight things that annoy you
Day 4: Seven fears/phobias
Day 5: Six songs that you’re addicted to
Day 6: Five things you can’t live without
Day 7: Four memories you won’t forget
Day 8: Three words you can’t go a day without using
Day 9: Two things you wish you could do
Day 10: One person you can trust

Always forgive, Never Forget

Just because I'm over everything doesn't mean it never happened. Whoever said "Forgive and Forget" was dumb. Forgetting just leaves you vulnerable again. and again. and again. Fuck that.

Tuesday, September 21

(Golding 54)

He wanted to explain how people were never quite what you thought they were.
Someone to talk to.

Overwhelmed

I really need better time management skills omfg. I'm laggin everyyyything right now. I have about 2weeks worth of Lee's hw due friday that I haven't even touched it yet. + Oct 9th SAT day is just around the corner. I'm so behind on school hw... I'm starting to get missing assignments and my grade is suffering:'( sueirkgnejsgkm It's all my fault sigh.. I remember I used to alwaysss sleep at.11 at the latest.. Now I'm lucky if I sleep by 2. Can't even really afford to nap anymore because I know that when I nap it's gonna be about 4 hours and I can't afford to lose 4 hours-_- then there's also hc but w/e I'm shoving that to the back of mind for now.. Omg I haven't gone out to play in such a long time.. I'm either at Lee's orrrrr at home, doing hw for Lee's (and other school work)....I already know I'm drifting from a lot of people which sucks because the only reason = we haven't been able to hang out. They say if a person was a true friend, then it wouldn't matter.. But honestly, it's much easier said than done It's hard maintaining a close relationship with someone you barely have time to talk to or see.. You start loosing your grip on what's going on in their lives. Your tabs on them start disappearing and next thing you know, you have no idea who they are or what's been going on with them. It just builds up to where eventually, it's next to impossible to explain and update on everything that's happened.

NEED MORE THAN 24 HRS PER DAY PLZ

Sunday, September 19

(y)

[…] There were girls before you. There will be girls after you.
Learn to deal with it like an adult.
Dear Coke Talk

LO FUCKING L


tired
tired
tired
tired
tired
tired


Why is it that the only time I can actually talk to you... like REALLY talk to you.. is on aim...
Just.
Tired.

I really hope that things go back to the way they where once it's over.

I realize I bite my lower lip. A lot.

Saturday, September 18

It was a nice idea.... :(

A new Research In Motion BlackBerry device, code-named Magnum, has been spotted and videotaped in the wild.
It appears to be the company's first touch-screen QWERTY device, and an attempt to bridge the gap between its popular Curve and Bold QWERTY handsets and its Storm touch-screen device.


Read more: http://news.cnet.com/8301-17938_105-10443921-1.html#ixzz0zwbLgEgL
Dislike the Storm touch
And the screen is too small for touch...

S4


Closure and Letting Go

Overthinking every little thing
Trying to control every aspect of my life
Caring so much.
Thinking about helpless things like the past.
Wandering "what if"
Having hopes and expectations then being disappointed in the end


The End.
^_^

Thursday, September 16

X

Day 10: Final 10 words
I seem to be blogging less and less every day.

Hard Work... heheheh


before/after
NO THANKS TO ROBIN.

Wednesday, September 15

Because I'm bored.
Because IDGAF.
Because I know what I'm doing.

Skipping Day 8

Day 9: 10 ways to win your heart
1. Humor!!!!
2. Patience
3. Handsomeness
4. Intelligence
5. Kind
6. Playful
7. Natural chemistryyyyyyy
8. Accepting/Understanding
9. Loyal
10. Trustworthy
I want people to know.
I don't want people to know.

Tuesday, September 14

just 5

Day 7: 10 important people
1. Mommy
2. Dad
3. Robin
4. My girls
5. omfg the sunday subway worker


THE END!

I really really wanted this

Monday, September 13

Cycle

I always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always always do this. Damn it

24/7

Day 6: 10 items you can’t live without
1. cellphone
2. straightner
3. food
4. water
5. shampoo/conditioner
6. napkins!!!
7. shoes
8. clothing
9. bed <33333333
10. books

Sunday, September 12

Wish

Day 5: 10 wishes
1. I wish you were happier
2. I wish I had better time managament/study skills
3. I wish I 110% didn't give a fuck.
4. I wish I didn't miss you so much
5. I wish I could eat anything I want when I want without worrying about weight.
6. I wish I grow up to be successful...
7. I wish I get a really good SAT score..
8. I wish you get what you want. Because you really deserve it.
9. I wish people didn't need to worry about  things like money...
10. I wish I could read people's minds.....
I don't get why people complain about wanting to get out of their city/school and how nothing interesting ever happens to them when they obviously have some pretty amazing people right beside them. When you're surrounded by people who care for you and love you, it really shouldn't matter where you are as long as you have them. Stop being so fucking ungreatful for the great people in your lives, wishing you were some place else. I don't think people realize that fun isn't something that finds you and knocks on your door LOL stop moping and bitching. Make it happen.

Saturday, September 11

+/-

So  I guess good news, I only have those fri sat classes for 4 weeks. Bad news, in about 4 weeks I take the real SATs... Fuckkkkkkkkkkkk I'm so nervous-_- I am nowhere near the score I'm aiming for LOL
The score from the test I took today was my highest so far but I am a long way from being satisfied... jesusssss 4 weeks seems so short.... I should be keeping a positive outlook on it LOl.CONFIDENCE IS  KEY!!!
9-08
9-09
9-10
9-11
9-12
9-13
9-21
9-22
9-23
9-24

you youyouyouy youyouoyouyo

Day 4: 10 things you want to say to 10 different people
lol it was supposed to be 10 things to 1 person but that's too much for one person HAHAHA. so just 10 diff people I guess.

1. Lol you're fake as fuck.
2. We need another one of those days omg I'm so down
3. You should be glad I even care and that I'm actually trying.
4. It is not the same anymore sigh
5. Wondering where this will lead to
6. Drama king.........
7. WHY?????? WHYWHY WHY WHY omfg
8. Fuck. I wish I'd known a lot earlier
9. How's life How've you been What've you been up to. ....
10. Sorry.

Thursday, September 9

III

Day 3: 10 things you hate
1. Not getting enough sleep/Being kept from sleeping by someone or something LOL
2. When I forget things!!!
3. Thinking "what if"
4. Awkward moments..
5. Procrastinating omfg
6. When you do your homework and then lose it...
7. Making the wrong decisions
8. When you're telling the truth and the person doesn't believe you
9. Losing
10. Being disappointed......... -_-

Wednesday, September 8

People need to chill the fuck out
Put down the fucking haterade

"She's making money living life.. While the rest of us bust are asses trying to survive. Looks like she's the smart one."

easy peazy

Day 2: 10 things you love
1. Family/Friends
2. Good Books Good Tv Shows Good movies ♥
3. Having those unexpected best day of your life days
4. Sleeping ♥ ♥ ♥
5. Finishing hw early, and not worrying about it the rest of the afternoon/night
6. Being told a secret:)
7. Making decisions I end up being completely happy with!!
8. FUNNY SHIT.
9. Buying stuff... LOL clothes in particular
10. That feeling of absolute certainty.

Yes

Tues: 5-7pm
Fri: 5-8pm
Sat: 10am-4pm

Tuesday, September 7

Start

Day 1: 10 things about you
I've done so many challenges/surveys that involve this sort of thing and I say the same shit over and over again......Therefore I am challenging myself to write stuff I haven't before... which will be very difficult because.. I am a very boring person. sigh LOL

1. I believe in second chances.
2. No regrets!!!
3. I consider myself to be fairly outgoing with a moderate amount of extroverted-ness... heheheh
4. Labels can fucking smd.
5. I firmly stand by the saying "hoes before bros"
6. First impressions can also smd ^_^
7. IDGAF WHAT YOU THINK
8. I text back very fast!
9. Just dooooooooooooooooooooooooo it
10. Blackberry <3

Ditched the other one...

Day 1: 10 things about you
Day 2: 10 things you love
Day 3: 10 things you hate
Day 4: 10 things you want to say to one person
Day 5: 10 wishes
Day 6: 10 items you can’t live without
Day 7: 10 important people
Day 8: 10 of your favorite songs
Day 9: 10 ways to win your heart
Day 10: Final 10 words

Recap

Another week of school hooray:( Lee's today omfg longest two hours of my life.. LOL I was all good and awake and attentive in the first hour but by the time it was 6 I was dead and so out of it-_- Well afterwards I came home, ate a late dinner, and finished reading my book lololol. Fuckkk,  I didn't even want to go on the computer today... LOL But once I was done with the book I had nothing else to do so sigh.. Here I am. I can't stop thinking about the hw I should be doing aweijkenvrfd jessssssssssusss... I'm too tired at the moment. I really should enjoy and savor these days of peace before the workload gets heavierrrrrrrrr but I can't stop complaining and groaning T_T Oh ohohohoh my mom signed me up for SAT classes at Lee's again.. so... byebye fridays and possibly saturdayz.... In other newsssssss, DBHS has been fairly pleasant so far........ I was expecting some kind of huge significant change but to be honest, everything feels............. Normal. Ordinary. The same. LOL like I never even went to Ayala......... I'm not really sure how to explain it!! It's a weird feeling!!

I reread my older post about school whizzing by...and Omg. If only.... What the fuck was I thinking... haahahahahaah

(Green 196)

Everything that comes together falls apart. Everything. The chair I'm sitting on. It was built, and so it will fall apart. The cells and organs and systems that make you you— they came together, grew together, and so must fall apart. The Buddha knew one thing science didn't prove for millenia after his death: Entropy increases. Things fall apart...When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did.
Finish line please!!

Saturday, September 4

Weekend Blogging

I haven't blogged in forever.. HAHA ok its just been maybe three days but..... in blog times thats like three years LOL. Really fucking good weekend so far!! Today just really topped off my whole school year so far... heheheheh and yesterday too. Despite the end of the night bitching yesterday, to be honest.... It was worth it! Homecoming is in a month..... everyone's trippen out about it sigh HAHA AND IF YOU'RE NOT. THEN WELL, you're just keeping it very well hidden.... ^_^ even I am honestly. We're all like omgwho'sgoingtotakeusomg... heheheheh dont act like you don't feel the same way!!! I realize I just put "you"... I guess you = my nonexistant readers HAHAHA IM A LOSER. People need to go back to/make a blogspot.... I get these waves of lonely feelings sometimes when I  blog here because it's so empty and desolate....... Not that I'm not happy with  just Ashley and Irene.... ^_^_^_^_^   fUCK it's so hard to type when you have 2 perfectly circular bulging burns on your hands...SO peace out homiez

damn

Thursday, September 2

T_T_T_T_TT_TT


Omfg I never cried so fucking hard from just a movie....
These kinds of movies + endings = my ultimate weakness LOL
Watched it here

My procrastination habits are slowly fading away............... +++++

I'm .............retarded

Ever since I finally figured out how to make an account and log into aeries for school grades, it's all I've been doing. LOL I have it bookmarked and every single minute I keep checking to see if it got updated.. HAHAHAHA WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME... Seriously , I can't help myself. Took a math test today and I'm dyyyyyyying to know what I got :( LES SCAEFFER. FUCKING UPDATE THE GRADES ALREADY!!! I'M GOING TO DIE......... Anyways yeah. I like perusing my transcript and medical and attendance and etc records 999999999999 times a day.. LOL nothing ever changes but I still go to it every second and look anyways ^_^  harharhar there's just something about that site..... I have pretty good grades so far.. All A+ except for english where I have  a B-. That LOTF test fucked me over so bad-_- but it's okay. I just need to work hard and bring it up L O L. So.... brb while I go check again...

Wednesday, September 1

it's about time

adrianabeezy (11:46:59 PM): *GOES BACK TO MARS*

I fucking miss you

Warning: ugly ass pictures HAHAHAHA

9/8 - 9/13 my favorite cw shows come back.......... yes.

Happy September

GOD, IF YOU LOVE ME. MY PHONE WILL BE IN MY PE LOCKER TOMORROW 5TH PERIOD. omg.... I was feeling pretty confident that I left my phone in there but now that I think about it..... didn't I have it in passing period to 6th? OR AM I JUST IMAGINING THINGS???? WHY IS MY MEMORY SO RETARDED :( but anyways. yeah fuck cross my fingers and hopehopehope it's in there... LOL URIJGANWERTG I DON'T DESERVE A PHONE.