Ambiguous

I normally don't raise my hopes up for fear of disappointment.. but when it comes to you, I can't help myself. And then, I just end up getting disappointed (as expected) and honestly, it's probably nobody's fault, but mine... You didn't know this (because I would go out of my way to hide it) but actually, when it came to you I was very very weak, and I still am. The only difference is that now, I can tell you are finally figuring that out. I keep forgiving you, letting things slide, burying all the times you've unintentionally(?) hurt me, because I didn't want to touch anything that might have disrupted our relationship. I think the worst part is, you have no idea. But I am vey good at hiding it, so I guess that's not your fault. Sometimes, I'll silently BEggGGggg you to realize how I'm feeling but I know you, and I know that you will remain oblivious until the subject is directly brought up. Erdifkgsnejdkgnerg geez, it's always the little things.. There are times when my patience seriously wears thin and I think of just letting you go completely. Because maybe then I won't feel the way I constantly do. BuT then my mind flashes back to all the history we have, and I can't bring myself to do it because I love you too much. And you know, this feeling never usually lasts long. It goes as quickly it comes, but also vice versaaaa. If you're reading this (and you just might).. do me a big big favor. Don't bring this up. Erase this from your mind. Act like you have no idea such a post exists. I am writing this on a whim and there is a 80% chance that everything I've just said is complete shit and I don't mean any of it so... don't take any of it too seriously. I'll probably wake up tomorrow, reread this, decide it's bull, and then delete it