Lately,

I've been getting annoyed so easily. Mad so easily. Sad so easily.... I think that so far I've been doing a pretty good job of not letting it show but these days I've been starting to slip. I don't know what to do. Most people would tell me to just let it out to someone but if you really knew me, you'd know I hate talking about things like that. For some reason, it's really hard for me to put my feelings into words, probably partly because I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling. Is it pain? Is it sorrow? Is it anger? SO MANY QUESTIONS!! -_- I don't wanna deal with any of that LOL To be completely honest, what good would it even do? They can't change my circumstance. They can't get me out of my situation. I guess simply listening has its merits but I've come to a point where I'm not going to be content any longer with some emotional outlet... I don't want just a listening ear anymore. I want a cure. I want it to stop. I know what I'm asking for is impossible. So if you don't have what I want to offer, it's competely fine. I've managed to survive this far and I'm confident I can keep going. But I'm not going to lie. Things haven't been getting better. I think it's slowly starting to get to me.................. even though I'm trying really hard not to let it. There's only so much I can take, haha. It really is getting harder and harder for my every day to go out in public and Be Fine. I'd like to keep having hope. I'd like to be able to move forward without being phased.  But what I'd like and what's happening are two very different things.



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Why?

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Day 4: Seven fears/phobias 
1. BIRDS omfg
2. Losing certain people in my life
3. College
4. My job in the future
5. The future in general
6. The world ending while I'm alive.. LOL
7. Failing

Zero

Day 3: Eight things that annoy you
1. Mean people...
2. When plans don't work out :(
3. My phone running out of batteries in the middle of the day
4. Being pitied
5. Spilling my water every fucken day
6. Obnoxiously loud people
7. My clumsiness sigh
8. Going shopping and not finding anything..

Today

Happy late birthday Erica heheheh I know you're not gonna read this but I'm gonna give you your card monday K!!HAHAHA shitt............. I officially fucking hate german torture. I never experienced this much pain from so little cards. Jungsoo seriously broke my hand. LOL there's this big hard boney lump and it hurts everytime I try stretching out my hand... Should I go to the doctors???????? But I don't want to tell my mom.. She's gonna trip tfo hAHA. Dress shopping tomorrow!

Perfunctory

Day 2: Nine things you do everyday
1. brush my teeth, use toilet, etc;
2. phoneee (text, just looking at it, idk) haahaha
3. school ...
4. eat at least 1 of the the little hot cheetos bags. yay for 50 pack @ costco.. HahAHA omg
5. shower!!
6. computer.. watch my shows, fb +
7. laugh heheheh
8. groan at the sight of my messy room LOL:(
9. think about stuff..-_-

THERE HASN'T BEEN A SINGLE DAY IN THE PAST MONTH WHERE I DIDN'T KNOCK MY CUP FULL OF WATER OVER.

There's always this..

 Day 1: Ten random facts about yourself
1. I text back fasstttttt ^_^
2. Religiously watch my shows online hehehehehe
3. I love lovelovelovel ove love sleep
4. I like to read
5. Hot cheetos!!!!
6. I have slow reflexes............
7. Chocolate covered pretezels omg
8. I'm the most indecisive person you will ever meet:(
9. I luv my bb
10. Rather regret what I've done than what I haven't done