Day 38

MISSED. ANOTHER. DAY :( and I don't even have a legitamate reason this time......................... I should just give up lololol omg zo pointless... but it'd be such a waste. I've already come 1/12th of the way. HAHAHAHAHA valentines day soon!!! cant wait to see everyone carrying flowers and chocolates and little stuffed bears *_* such a cute "holiday". Went to Ashley Wang's after school today... gah it's been such a long time since we talked... even though I only stayed for like 10 minutes before getting picked up lolol but another day for sure we are playing!!!!!!!!!! I MAKE SURE OF IT! today was whatever. Went by hella fast though. Late start tomorrow. Omg when Alex lied and said it wasn't tomorrow.. I was going to cry. and have a heart attack. But thankfully he was just being the bully he always is and was lying hehehehehe jk i luv you arex if you're reading this which I doubt LOL. So since wf night I've finally broken my clean streak hahahaha. Whatevaaa blah I just decided to fuck it. I DO WHAT I WANT. I'm a smart girl. I can keep my stuff togethar. Anyways, besides that. Things have been subtley changing lately.... It's amazing how such a light, small conversation I had with Jenny maybe a week ago affected me so much. *_*... yeah. hi jenny. you know what im talkin bout haahahahahaha. THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD. I'm happy, for the most part. Yes I am aware of how extremely bipolar my posts are... I'm like happy in one. Then sad. then happy. It's one of my more unattractive qualities ^__^V k peace

o m g I swear I was happy just a moment ago

Dear you,

You drive me fucking insane sometimes. You make me feel like shit... to put it simply. Honestly, there are times when I feel like everything you say and everything you do comes from ... some sort of obligation.. And I feel like I'm a burden to you. I'm not forcing you into a friendship, I hope you realize that. No one's stopping you from walking out. Obviously I won't want it. I'd get terribly sad. Probably even mad. But when it comes down to it, it's all up to you.... ....The things you say.... they're not even directed towards me (maybe) but I still get hurt and all wound up...!!@#!@#!!!! Then, rather than getting upset at you I get upset at ME. Because I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. .............. And maybe I am. -_- or maybe this is just another one of my flashes of emotions that will fade away in a couple hours. Maybe. Maybe not. So many maybes. I hate maybes.a ikjfnsafksadfnsd they're so.. undefined.. vague.. uncertain... =____= i hate myself when I'm like this. I feel so vulnerable, lolz....Fuck me I mess up everything


MY MIND NEEDS TO STFU

Day 37

School tomorrow -_- asuhfdkjashsakf. SORE AS FUCK. I can barely walk omg... :( woke up (very very reluctantly) for church... afterwards went to jenny's for a bit. talked.. laughed.. talked. then my mom picked me up and we went to eat pho. twas good. But I hate when you eat pho and you pretty much end up reeking of pho -__--_-_ urg. It is not an attractive smell LOL it smells like BO... hahsdfhafhahahahaha went to walmart to finally but a mic to match my netbook's webcam.. I CAN WC TO THE FULLEST POTENTIAL NOW!! yayayayay so get at me on fb or something and give me your oovoo ID ^_^__^_^_^_^ first actual mic+camera wc sesh in like over a year with jenny today. so funny hAHAHAHA YYYYYYY BABY YYY LOL and her new hairstyle choice... o god. hahahahahaha good stuff. forgot how fun wcing was :) chris join us later for a little bit. then we all dispersed. fb. tumblr. gah winterformal was just yesterday but it feels like a blur.. !!! spent most of the day on fb saying  "hi nice meeting you" toall the poeple i met HAHAHAHA fucking grace and rachel... :') K GN

Day 36

Fuck I know ... Missed another day. But whatever can't blame me... Winter formal today HAHAHAHA good shit. Fell twice-_-_-_-_- sigh... Once on the bus cause it was so unsteady and then on the dancefloor when sang and I were tryna get to the group and I fell over on my butt. Shit hurt:( walnut winter formal was chill.. No cutting of the bracelets so you can pretty much dance wherever and however LOL and the dj played much better songs. No katy perry and no "teenage dream" as every other song-_-haahaha got a fucking painful foot cramp though ;_; ah..... So basically how my day went: woke up at 7... Got ready. Went to jasmines. She curled my hair. Sang scooped me up. Went to brians. Chilled, took pictures, met everyone HAHAHA ~mingled~... And then we headed over to say cheese and take pictures. Camera whored at the apple store LOL... Got our pictures and went to coconut bay to eat. Then went to this girl named kathleen's to meet up for party bus. Party bus > limo by a billion times HAHAHAHA pre dancing in the bus~ then yeah danced at the actual venue. Rode bus back to kathleens. stayed there for a little to arrange ride's to freddie's. Good shit hahahahahah and yeah. sang dropped me off at home maybe half an hour ago. ....sooOooOo this post is for everyone who's gonna ask me how winter formal went LOOOLOL fuck I'm tired okie good night

Day 35

School. Lee's. Chodang with the girls. Lots of laughs!!! NOONCHI WOMAN AHAHAHAHAAHHAHA... winter formal tomorrow LOL

Day 34

Wasn't taken today but whatever LOL my blog my rules heheheheheh. Today was whatever.. fucking cold though:( spent my whole day at lees..........-_- urgaakjdhfnjfkamdfa...im getting so sick and tired of lees I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO GO HOME RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL. DO HW. EAT. NAP. BE AT PEACE........... My emotions have been going berzerk this whole week.. fuck. -_- happy sad angry annoyed happy happy angry happy sad happy............ The majority is happy but just the swings from high to low to back to high is incredibley exhausting... Winter formal in 2 days... It's weird. It doesn't feel like I'm going to WF.. But I'm sure friday night it's gonna hit me hahahaha. okie bye